


Snow Mercy

by raritysdiamonds



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Cartoon Physics, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Ice Skating, Idiots!!! on Ice, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:54:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28285050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raritysdiamonds/pseuds/raritysdiamonds
Summary: Dib introduces Zim to his favourite holiday pastime involving sword boots and a giant frozen puddle.What could go wrong?
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	Snow Mercy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Angel_Bee_blue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_Bee_blue/gifts).



> A lil something for **Bee** , my ZaDr Discord Secret Santa!! Merry Christmas friend, I hope you like it~ 💜🎁❄️
> 
> Thanks for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts! <3

Zim had always detested winter.

He found it flamboozling that even the primitive Earth monkeys  _ still _ hadn’t figured out how to regulate their meteorological patterns to optimum temperatures, seemingly content to freeze their squeedilyspooches off every year. The dreaded rain came more frequently, requiring Zim to take paste baths every day, and then there was  _ snow _ , which wasn’t quite as painful but presented its own set of complications. 

More specifically, Zim had acquired a human love-pig (“Most people prefer the term ‘boyfriend’”) who seemed to  _ adore _ the cursed freeze-powder. Dib had dragged Zim outside the moment the first few snowflakes fell, insisting on showing him how to make ‘angels’ by rolling around in the snow; spending hours crafting a ‘cryptozoologically accurate’ appalling snow-beast; and Zim was  _ never  _ safe from being pelted with icy pain pellets, even after he’d generously put his plans to conquer Earth on hold for Dib.

He seemed especially excited to show Zim this particular forest, and had happily babbled the whole drive there about how pretty and peaceful it was - apart from when the Gaz used to push him in the lake when they were worm babies - and how he couldn’t wait to skate again and he was sure Zim was gonna love it. 

“...and when I was six I was convinced I saw a yeti in the woods - obviously now I know they’re native to the Himalayas, but they are a relative of Bigfoot so it’s not  _ impossible _ one could survive here. Probably more likely to have been a jackalope, but hey, we might get lucky!” he finished, only pausing for breath to flash Zim a hopeful smile that reminded him of GIR when he presented another batch of bacon soap. “So? What do you think?” 

Zim blinked at the giant, frozen puddle surrounded by scraggly trees. In an effort not to  _ entirely _ destroy his human’s baffling happiness, he managed a grimace. “Eh, that sure is...something! Yeah, look at all that - cold and painful surface of dubious density! I sure can’t wait to hack at it with the foot-swords!”

Dib chuckled, placing a gloved hand on Zim’s shoulder. “It’s okay to be a little nervous your first time...”

“ _ Nervous?!  _ Pah! Zim has no nerves!” Zim  crossed his arms with a huff, shivering as he waited for Dib to finish lacing up his blade-boots so he could help Zim with his own. They were vibrant purple to match his thick coat; a blatant but nonetheless effective bribe on his human’s part.

Dib merely raised an eyebrow at him before taking Zim’s hand to guide him onto the frigid pain-puddle. “C’mon, I’ll show you. It’s not so hard - you just gotta find your balance…” When they were on the ice, he moved behind Zim to adjust his stance. “Put your shoulders back. Legs a little wider…” He slipped his foot between Zim’s legs, nudging them further apart. “Now move one foot, then the other, just like walking. Follow my lead, okay?” 

Still holding Zim’s hand, he glided ahead with surprising gracefulness; Zim wobbled a little at first as he was pulled along, but he concentrated on his movements, brow furrowed and the tip of his tongue poking out. One foot, then the other, keeping his balance...Zim had seen humans leap and twirl across ice, he couldn’t allow himself to be bested by such inferior and alarmingly sparkly life forms!

“Yeah, just like that!” Dib squeezed Zim’s hand, smiling down at him as they skated side by side. “You’re doing great.” 

“I am?” Zim’s eyes widened, warmth blossoming in his cheeks despite the cold before his unsure expression transformed into its usual smirk. “I mean - of  _ course _ I am! All hail Zim, supreme conqueror of the ice!” 

He preened, letting go of Dib’s hand to proudly plant his own on his hips, and Dib scoffed.

“Okay, ice queen,” he teased, skating a few circles around Zim before going on ahead. “Let’s just see if you can keep up with me.”

Zim’s face lit up at the challenge, his grin widening into one of playful determination. “Consume Zim’s ice-dust, human!” 

He kicked off on one foot and took off after Dib, an adrenaline thrill racing through him as he glided along the ice. Nervous, shmervous - this was practically smeet’s play. It wasn’t too different to piloting a spacecraft, when he got used to it; a few creative twists and turns and he zoomed past Dib. He barely had to move his feet at all, momentum carrying him along seamlessly until -

“Eh? No! Stop that!” he yelped in alarm when his feet apparently decided to veer off in opposite directions, the gap between his legs growing uncomfortably, unnervingly wider. “I didn’t tell you to do that!  _ Dib!”  _ He made desperate grabby hands in his human’s direction. “These icy-walkers are malfunctioning!”

“Oh man, what are you - not  _ that _ far apart!” Dib made a noise suspiciously like a snort as he skated after Zim. “You need to slow down! Put your feet back together!”

This advice proved to be completely useless as Zim struggled to regain control only to lose his footing entirely. He shrieked as he fell towards the ground; instinctively, he deployed his PAK legs before he could plummet to his icy doom. 

He immediately regretted this decision when the metal appendages failed to anchor him, leaving him to stumble and skitter helplessly across the slippery surface, flailing like a mechanical arachnid trapped in an invisible hamster wheel.

“Dib!  _ Diiib! _ ”

“Stop,  _ stop _ , I can’t -” Zim’s  _ filthy traitor _ of a so-called  _ partner _ was laughing so much he could barely stand upright himself, clutching his stomach with one hand and the other over his face in a failed attempt to muffle his giggles. “Sorry - I’m coming...”

Zim’s PAK leg pierced the ice, catapulting him forwards with an antennae-splitting screech; he barely saw Dib’s expression morph from laughter to horror before he smacked face-first into his chest. 

Their screams rang out through the secluded forest as they tumbled to the floor in a tangle of limbs. The collision sent them hurtling across the ice at the speed of a streamlined Vortian shpeel; Zim could only clutch at Dib’s sweater while Dib hugged him to his chest until they spun right off the ice. 

The Dib-mobile reached the end of its brief but terrifying journey when they slammed into a pine tree with a thump and an  _ oof _ .

“Hey.” After a few moments of stunned silence, Zim felt something tap his back; he could feel Dib’s heart pounding, but when he raised his head he was reassured that he was out of breath but otherwise unharmed.  His human’s eyes were wide and soft with concern, despite the fact that  _ Zim  _ wasn’t the ridiculously fragile species in this coupling. “Are you o- ”

He was cut off by a yelp as a miniature avalanche of snow tumbled down from the branches, the worst of it missing Zim but coating Dib’s face and hair until he resembled one of his beloved snow-thingies. 

They exploded into laughter the instant their eyes met. Zim buried his face in the crook of Dib’s neck, half-formed threats about how he was  _ terrible _ and Zim would make him  _ pay _ for this torture lost to increasingly hysterical wheezes and splutters as they held onto one another, chasing the warmth of familiar skin and breath and mirth amidst the frozen wasteland. 

“Okay, okay…” Dib eventually managed to speak after they’d subsided into occasional snickers; he sat up against the tree trunk, pulling Zim into his lap as he shook off the snow. His glasses were askew, hair damp and disheveled, and his face was still bright red from the potent combination of mirth and cold. “Maybe we should put the skating lessons on hold and do something a little less potentially life-threatening.” He gently tugged Zim’s wig back into place over a stray antenna, hand lingering for a moment on his cheek as he smiled down at him like an utter fool. Zim’s utter fool. “Wanna get some hot cocoa?”

Perhaps this winter business wasn’t  _ entirely _ intolerable. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Feedback is always appreciated <3


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